Monday, August 10, 2009

Worship IS Life...


"Worship IS Life...not music sung in unison on the last day of the weekend."

When we start to really unpack what this means...what this looks like on a daily basis...it is far less glamorous than it sounds. When I hear things like this said I think of things like: walking around like June Cleaver... everything is beautiful and God is always understood as glorious, generous & wonderful no matter what the circumstance... my heart is always full of joy and love for my fellow man and it is always spring and 75 degrees (even in Austin, TX in mid-August).


In reality (at least for me) this isn't what 'Worship IS Life' looks like at all. What I have described above is a pipe dream...pure fiction. This is more what it looks like for me...


I wake up on any given morning and nothing sounds particularly good for breakfast, so I just eat whatever is handy. I don't 'feel' like doing anything...AND I don't particularly 'feel' like doing nothing either. So I get on the internet and, depending on the amount of unbelievable catastrophes and/or miracles, read the news headlines which manages to eat up 30-45 mins. of my 'any given morning'. As I drink a cup of coffee and read... I become increasingly annoyed because we have run out of half & half and I had to use 2% milk...which hasn't the potent creamy-ness that I like with my 'any given morning' coffee and this nearly manages to ruin a perfectly good and well-formed habit. Eventually, I have exhausted all of my favorite news channels BBC, CNN, FOX, & our local Austin Statesman...so I move on to Facebook...to commiserate with my other 'friends' who are also hating their life, adding in my clever comment or two, which makes me feel a little better about this 'any given morning'...

Suddenly I am snapped out of my voyeuristic apathy by my all too motivated and productive husband, "Miranda, what are you working on?" Now, while I am sure that it could appear to those that know me lesser...that I actually could be "working". I know that Luke knows me better... and this is husband language for "enough piddling...its time to get productive." which, regardless of how sweet, or careful it was conveyed from his mouth... I usually hear the latter. I now begin engage my wonderful husband in a heated "discussion" of how I have had a hard couple of days and therefore deserve a few minutes of ME time before the work day starts... OR here is where The Gospel... can turn 'any given morning' in to a WORSHIPFUL morning.

I know enough about life to know when sin is over-taking me...and this is text book. It is in instances like these where Gospel change begins to take place. Knowing that all frustration is sin... (which is grace in and of itself) I can pause (self-control)...and grab this sin by its root and through grace and the power of the Holy Spirit rip it out of my heart. Sounds good right? So how do I find the root? Through reading a book called "You Can Change" by Tim Chester, I am learning that all sin at it root... lies unbelief. SO... I ask myself...what is it that I am not believing about the Gospel? What is it that I am not believing about God? This is sometimes hard to do because, I am practically a Houdini when it comes to blame shifting...and can fool myself into believing that I share the blame... or that if it weren't for other people and their demands on me...I wouldn't be so frustrated all of the time. In this example... I am believing that God is not enough to make me happy, I am believing that Facebook is... I am believing that the most important thing at that moment is getting what I want... that this will make me happy, and that God is not enough. The more that I unpack the sin in my life the more I realize that though I believe in my head... it is much more difficult for me to truly believe in my heart... So I pray...

"God, I confess that I don't believe that you alone are enough to make me happy. I don't believe that you are a good God and have my good (for your glory) in store. I am proving to believe that I am a better god than you are. These are lies... I want to believe the Gospel, help my unbelief. Turn my heart toward you, redeem this day for your glory, help me know that you are God and I am not."


Some days are harder than others and I have to pray, confess things like this over and over. And truth be told, if I could possibly know the true darkness that lies in my heart...I would never cease to pray, confess like this. God, in is wisdom & grace never gives me more than I can bear (thank goodness!)... and always comforts and ministers to my heart. When I cry out...he is faithful to provide the strength to overcome my unbelief.

This is what "Worship IS Life" looks like for me. I would be interested to hear what it looks like for you. Please feel free to leave your comments.

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